jolylaura72
Answered

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Bonjour, voici un discours en anglais sur les violences faites aux noirs. Pouvez-vous me dire si il y a des fautes ? Ou des incompréhension ? Avez-vous des idées de "slogan" que je peux rajouter afin d'inciter les gens à mettre un terme à ses inégalités ?

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm here today to speak about the violence against black people. Do you know what happened to George Floyd and Jacob Blake recently? I will explain you. George Floyd and Jacob Blake are two victims of policy violence. The policy has killed them for their skin's color. What do you think about this situation? An emblematic figure who fights for black rights, Martin Luther
King, once said « What matters in a man is not the color of his skin or the texture of his hair,
but the texture and quality of his soul ».

I'm here today to tell more about violences. An emblematic figure who fights for black rights, Martin Luther King, once said « What matters in a man is not the color of his skin or the texture of his hair, but the texture and quality of his soul ». Martin Luther King was fichting a lot during
the segregation, which takes place to 1877 from 1964, to stop it. The segregation is the
inequality between white and black people. Indeed, white people had lots of right which
hadn't have black people. Just before the segregation there was the slavey. When the slavery was abolished by Abraham Lincoln in 1863, the segregation takes places just 14 years later in the USA. During 2 century white people were superior than black people. We can think that
police killed black without any reason to find this feeling of superiority. Then, more than 1107 people was killed by the police in 2015, black people represente more than 5% of them. And they represented only 13% of the population in the USA in 2015.

I'm here today to explain our support for black people against the policy violence because this unfair situation isn't acceptable. To explain it, we have decided, with players and staff, to postpone the AllStar Game which takes place this week-end in New York. We are all agree to
said that this kind of injustice have to stop. To make change we protest as we can.

I'm here today to change the world but Ican't do that alone. I need your help to protest againstviolence by policy. We have to fight and protest together.​

Sagot :

cass2108
I'm here today to tell more about racist violence. [..] white people had a lot of rights that black people didn't have. Just before the segregation there was slaves. The segregation took place in the USA 14 years after Abraham Lincoln was abolished slavery in 1863.[..] We might think that the police were killing black people without reason to feel superior.
Attention dans ton dernier paragraphe tu as oublie quelque espaces donc n'oublie pas de te relier! Pour le slogan je peux te proposer
: "All together against the injustices suffered by black people" ou "Stop to racist inequalities".
N'oublie pas de mettre la meilleure réponse, j'espere t'avoir aidé! bonne journée
evalwck

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm here today to speak about the violence against black people. Do you know what happened to George Floyd and Jacob Blake recently? I will explain you. George Floyd and Jacob Blake were two victims of police violence. The police has killed them for their skin's color. What do you think about this situation? An emblematic figure who fights for black rights, Martin Luther King, once said « What matters in a man is not the color of his skin or the texture of his hair, but the texture and quality of his soul ».

I'm here today to tell more about these violences. An emblematic figure who fights for black rights, Martin Luther King, once said « What matters in a man is not the color of his skin or the texture of his hair, but the texture and quality of his soul ».

-> répétition

Martin Luther King was fichting a lot during

the segregation, which takes place to 1877 from 1964, to stop it (ajoute plutôt les dates où Martin Luther King a été actif durant ce combat, ça porte à confusion). Segregation is the inequality between white and black people. Indeed, white people had lots of right which black people were forbidden of. Just before the segregation there was the slavery. When the slavery was abolished by Abraham Lincoln in 1863, the segregation took places 14 years later in the USA. During 2 centuries white people were superior than black people. We can think that police killed black without any reason to find this feeling of superiority. Then, more than 1107 people was killed by the police in 2015, black people represents more than 5% of them. And they represented only 13% of the population in the USA in 2015.

I'm here today to show our support for black people against the police violences because this unfair situation is not (il n'y a pas d'erreur mais pour montrer ton attachement à la cause, ta détermination, etc. il vaut mieux ne pas raccourcir les mots et appuyer sur la négation) acceptable. To explain it, we decided, with players and staff, to postpone the AllStar Game which takes place this week-end in New York. We all agreed to say that this kind of injustice have to stop. To make change we protest as we can.

I'm here today to change the world but I can't do it alone. I need your help to protest against violences by police officers. We have to fight and protest together.

-> Les "I'm here today" sont un peu trop formels tout comme l'introduction "Ladies and gentleman" mais ça passe encore. Tu peux rajouter le fameux slogan "Black Lives Matter" et/ou le modifier "Yes blacks lives mattered (Si tu parles à partir du moment se l'assassinat de Georges Floyd) but they always matter today" ou "Yes black lives matter but they always did and will always do"

Hey j'espère avoir pu t'aider un minimum pour ce devoir. Bon courage pour la suite ! ;)

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